Goofy as Hell

The Cringe Economy of Manufactured Masculinity

Matt scrolls through his phone at 2AM, another sleepless night. He clicks on a video in his feed: "Why Modern Men Are Losing Their Purpose." He nods along as the speaker explains how “certain policies” have undermined traditional gender roles, how men need to reassert themselves.

"Men are builders, protectors," the voice explains. "The world wants you weak and confused." It resonates with Matt. It just feels like it makes sense. He saves the video to his "Self-Improvement" playlist and makes a mental note to look into a workout program they're promoting mid-video. Ads, am I right?

As a guy who's watched this sort of passive pipeline proliferate through the phones of people like the hypothetical Matt (and my real nephew), I need to say something plainly: this shit is cringe as fuck.

And you know why?

Because the way guys are consuming this sort of content reminds me of Disney Adults.

Allow me to explain.

The Impasse

First, we must acknowledge the trunks in the room (that’s right fellas, I’m talking about our wieners).

From my point of view, young men in America are standing at a peculiar crossroads - one that feels genuinely insurmountable to many. This impasse, this sticky and mucky fork in the road, demands a choice between two seemingly impossible options.

On one hand, traditional masculinity whispers a simple siren song: know your direction, move with confidence, forge ahead all gas no breaks. This is the blueprint many were handed from childhood, a sort of compass by which generations of men - we were told - navigated them through their existence. The message from these stories, the stories of the men who we literally see our own faces in, is clear: a man's worth is measured by his certainty, his forward momentum, his ability to carve a path through the wilderness of life.

Yet simultaneously, young men are confronted with a breathtaking (and - I cannot stress this enough - verifiable) counternarrative: the men who came before them, following this exact same directive, made choices that are immiserating, inescapable, immutable, and intractable. Worse still, we are told (again, CORRECTLY) that these past decisions, born out of masculine certainty, were foolhardy, oppressive, and ultimately destructive to the continued existence of humanity itself.

Last I checked 90% of the Fortune 500 are led by men. (No, I am not a girlboss capitalist. I fully understand that a person can have a gorilla grip vagine and also have a vice grip on an entire zip code’s rental market)

Still, the stats that come out of this reality-counterreality-counter-counter-reality are grim. Men account for approximately 80% of all suicides in the United States according to recent CDC data. The Surgeon General has formally recognized loneliness as an epidemic, linking social isolation to a 29% increase in mortality risk. Perhaps most telling is the friendship collapse among men - those reporting zero close friendships has increased fivefold since 1990.

All while, mind you, economic prospects stagnate, with non-college-educated young men's earnings hovering near 1970 levels after accounting for inflation.

In the face of this, men are presented with a brutal choice: either mostly accept the path forged by their forefathers, embracing a certain blindness to its consequences (and thereby accepting the inherent inhumanity of these inherited destinies), or reject these legacies entirely and wander somewhat aimlessly while attempting to forge some other way of being that is neither traditionally masculine nor feminine, all while simultaneously acknowledging the harm of their innate socialization and while striving to live authentically (let alone feeling any sense of vulnerability).

This is an impossible choice for even some of the most intellectually rigorous and emotionally astute men I know. (Perhaps I know dolts; I do, mind you, love surrounding myself with men who’s bussies are bigger than their brains). So most simply don't make it.

Instead, they make this …. weird kind of choice. The kind of avoidance-based choice.

Do I hear Mickey laughing?

Gorsh

If you are unfortunate enough to have an intimate understanding of what a Disney Adult is, please just go to the next section. I beg you. Unfortunately, I have to do this breakdown for the people who are lucky enough to not know where Celebration, Florida even is.

Alright everybody so to understand the rest of my point we need to make sure we’re aware of what a Disney Adult is and how they exist in the world as a consumer.

A Disney Adult is not someone who just enjoys the products of the Walt Disney company.

They are, for lack of a better way to explain it, a sort of acolyte. They seem to - to differing degrees - believe that the Walt Disney Company owns the ephemera of wonder itself. Whether through the parks, through the movies, through the music, the merch, whatever, they really seem to behave in a way that suggests that, without this corporation’s particular slant of creative enterprise, there would be something crucial missing in the world, some kind of magic lost.

This is, of course, the result of obfuscation and programming over decades, as Walt Disney as an entity does not itself naturally have anything.

Instead, it is a nearly century-old megacorporation which practices a particularly brutal form of anticompetitive capitalism. Their game is a simple and devastating one: they buy up competitors of all sizes to siphon the talent away from would-be smaller productions, squash new IPs all together, and legally box out anybody who they can claim is infringing on their intellectual property (even if that requires them to employ the most nonsensical interpretations of the word “reasonable”).

As a result, they have essentially been able to co-opt tens of million’s of people’s baseline understanding of what “fantasy” or “wonder” in a creative property even is.

And, somehow, even with all of this being public knowledge, Disney Adults continue eating waffles shaped like Mickey’s nuts, co-opt TikTok trends to showcase “moments that felt like Goofy’s Yell”, and fall to their metaphorical knees while literally crying when they see Cindarella’s Castle after a pandemic-induced separation - all with gleeful abandon.

This is the crucial part to understand what Disney Adults are as a culturally-recognizable symbol: their willingness to broadcast their allegiance to a corporation by publicly experiencing precisely what the corporation instructed them to experience, in ways the corporation prefers. These are performances designed to showcase the brand in manners Disney has calibrated to maximize the likelihood of attracting others to do the same (you know, the ways that make Disney more money).

Now, don’t get me wrong. Devotees are a thing of any property. What’s the big deal, right?

Well, the big deal is that some of these people go off the deep end like Scrooge McDuck if you catch my drift. A certain subset of these folks genuinely reconstruct their entire identities around consuming this brand.

Some purchase season passes (not that weird). Some take multiple trips to Disney properties per year (okay a bit much, some move to a special neighborhood property in Florida called Golden Oaks - where houses range from $2 million on the low-end to $10 million on the high-end - to have paintings Woody from Toy Story on their fucking ceilings (huh???). And some some even engage in multi-year, multi-hundred-thousand dollar lawsuits so they can regain entry into private social clubs that let them poop in the same toilet as Walt Disney (I rebuke you in the name of Jesus can I get an amen??????).

Still, hearing this, some will find the muster to defend Disney Adults and say “Well, jeez, Cornpop, they’re just trying to escape. Let them live a little.

Well, I would if they weren’t openly living in devotion to a corporation. Like???

Let’s review. What is their version of “living a little”? Helping hyper-wealthy individuals accumulate even more wealth, all while destroying local ecology, decimating the creative industry and some of the most beloved IPs in the world, and single-handedly dictating the entire economic direction of one of the largest states in the United States - all so they can receive a semblance of value in the form of repeatable experiences.

Like they are padding billionaires’ pockets by subjecting themselves to endless corporate marketing so they can receive … more corporate marketing.

It is, at its core, a weird form of cultish, corporate simping.

And this is 100% what people who are consuming red-pill, grind culture, hustlebro content are doing, too.

They’re behaving like Disney Adults.

Walt Would’ve Loved This Shit

(NOTE: Everything I’m about to say is said semi-facetiously, as I’m sure that plenty or all of the conclusions I’m about to draw can be flayed in certain ways. But I remain resolute in my principal point: a substantial portion of men consuming manosphere content practice the same consumptive practices as Disney Adults, and that it’s cringe as fuck).

In both cases, the consumer begins with a genuine feeling of disenchantment. Disney Adults seek escape from the mundane realities of adulthood, while manosphere followers seek escape from perceived emasculation in a changing social landscape. This emotional pain creates the perfect entry point for the bargain: "We understand your suffering, and we have the solution. All you have to do is you'll just follow us down this particular path."

We promise. You consume. That’s the deal.

Both are then offered a ready-made fantasy universe. For Disney, it's the legacy of media it’s already produced and the roadmap to crossover and rehashes of tomorrow, all ready to be packaged neatly for waiting eyes; while, for the manosphere, it's a hyper-simplified "alpha/beta" hierarchy that explains all social dynamics through primal evolutionary psychology.

The next step transforms these worldviews into identities delivered as products through which the subject can tangibly and even corporeally escape to and see that bargain come to life. Disney packages childhood wonder as a lifetime subscription service and season passes, and the manosphere packages authentic masculinity as a series of purchasable access points, sleepaway camps (I mean… trainings), and status markers.

This commodification is then reinforced through sophisticated content pipelines. Disney's corporate machine pumps this shit out - parks, merchandise, films, you name it - in a never-ending stream. That money faucet is on and it reabsorbs that cash ten fold.

Similarly, the manosphere operates through a monetized pipeline of YouTube channels (generating millions in ad revenue), supplement companies, Discords, coaching programs, and online courses which are all designed to keep followers consuming in perpetuity. Here, too, the money faucet is on, and it similarly reabsorbs its investments; the mens wellness industry itself has ballooned into a multi-billion dollar subindustry of the larger wellness market thanks in no small part to the proliferation of men telling other men that they need to buy things to be better men and, of course you should trust them - the salesmen - because they’re men.

DUH!!

And this is the important part: in both cases, these entities use the trappings of their environment to sequester even more space for themselves. Disney legalistically creates an alternate hyper-reality where the only way to conceptualize grand, epic stories is through Disney's lens. Their aggressive IP enforcement and ubiquitous presence reshape our collective imagination. The manosphere gurus, meanwhile, understand that content moderation on major platforms is inconsistent at best. They strategically buy ads, dominate the podcast circuit, and make their worldview inescapable. For media-addicted, pandemic-addled developing minds, being algorithmically introduced and reintroduced to content based purely on engagement (positive or negative) guarantees absorption of these talking points, even if only momentarily. That brief exposure is often enough to begin the conversion process.

Community validation plays a crucial role in maintaining these economies. Disney Adults gain status through merchandise displays, trip frequency, and participatory rituals; manosphere followers through outrage-sharing, before/after transformations, and displaying the trappings of their "alpha" status. Each purchase, each instance of engagement with the content being produced is itself an act of deepening commitment to the in-group.

This creates powerful peer pressure to "level up" spending. Just as Disney enthusiasts feel social pressure to upgrade experiences (from day passes to annual passes to Disney Cruises), manosphere followers face steady pressure to purchase more advanced courses, higher-tier supplements, or exclusive coaching packages so as to demonstrate commitment to their personal growth narrative.

Especially troubling is how, for the most devoted followers in both communities, criticism from outsiders often triggers not reflection but entrenchment. When labeled "cringe" for their devotion, both Disney Adults and manosphere adherents typically respond by doubling down on their identity investments. Visit the social media accounts of self-proclaimed Disney Adults and you'll find remarkably defensive postures against critics. Similarly, when manosphere followers face criticism or when they begin to feel vulnerable in a way that slices at inner wounds of rejection or senses of awkwardness - amongst women or men - they often retreat further into the ideology, seeing the mere existence of these feelings or the presence pushback as validation of the very worldview being questioned. Consumption then becomes a defense mechanism, as it becomes the only way to validate previous investments and maintain in-group standing is to invest even more deeply in the identity being criticized.

Now, notably, the architects of this madness do not seriously buy into any of this shit lmao.

Disney executives aren't summering at the Grand Floridian or finding spiritual renewal in their intellectual property. Similarly, manosphere gurus rarely live by their own rigid scripts. The most prominent voices in this space demonstrate remarkable flexibility in their actual lives while selling unyielding dogma to their followers. Just look at Logan Paul - one of the leading voices of hustle culture and male aspiration for teenage and young men - now publicly reconsidering gender dynamics after contemplating having a daughter.

And, look, I could've picked any brand cultists for this comparison: the crypto bros, the Tesla stans, the Apple fanatics who'd sell a kidney for the next iPhone. But there's something specifically, deliciously ironic about using Disney Adults that makes the point hit different.

The same guys who gobble up manosphere, self-improvement-maxxing content and think they're seeing the matrix would absolutely lose their shit if you compared them to people who cry at fireworks over a fake castle in Florida. But that's the whole point! They believe they're "awakened" to how the world "really works" while simultaneously getting played by the same corporate marketing machine they claim to be above. The manosphere bro watching 5 consecutive videos on "female nature" thinks he's Neo, when he's actually just Goofy with a gym membership.

Hyuck!

Do you see what I’m getting at here? Are you starting to pick up what I’m putting down?

Like none of this is hidden lmao.

It didn’t exactly take me going to college to draw these dots. It isn't rocket science to recognize that you're being manipulated by people who openly leverage your highest hopes and deepest fears for profit. The business model is not obscure. In fact, it’s painfully transparent to anyone willing to look past the carefully curated inspiration.

Yet there remains a profound reluctance, especially among young men incensed by manosphere content, to let go of these ready-made identities.

This reluctance speaks to the genuine power of these systems, but also to the absence of viable alternatives. When the choice appears to be between a Disney-fied version of masculinity or no coherent masculinity at all, many young men understandably cling to even flawed frameworks that offer some sense of direction.

So what’s a young guy to do then?

Well…

For the Boys™

Look my guy, I don’t have a ton of answers about how to figure out being a guy. I don’t want to Any guy that is claiming they have even most of the answers is absolutely trying to sell you something.

But here's what I do know: it is cringe as fuck to surrender your identity to men who literally do not care if you live or die.

These gurus and content creators won't lose a minute of sleep if your attempt to model yourself on their scripts blows up in your face and leaves you with no friends and no pussy and no money and no self-respect and no prospects for getting any combo of those ever again.

I've had to do the work of building an identity outside of the content I consume, and sometimes I hate that I did it that way because the other route seemed easier. But here's the truth: there is no shortcut to becoming a guy worth being.

Here are just some basic steps I’d recommend for any guy who feels like they’re hearing a lot of competing theories of what being “the best guy” looks like:

1. Audit whose scripts you've internalized. Seriously. Take inventory of where your ideas about what makes a "real man" actually come from. Is it your father? Your favorite movie character? Some dude on YouTube with perfect lighting and supplement recs?
   
   Once you know whose voice is in your head, you can decide whether it deserves to stay there.
   
   

2. Remember that you cannot purchase purpose with money. It comes through time and attention. If you give both of those to the act of consuming rich dudes who look like lizards, then that is the purpose you have made for yourself: you are a consumer of people who don’t respect you. Cucked much? Craft some shit, my guy. Learn to fix something. Build something. Care for something. Be bad at it and fail in public and keep trying. Connect with people in ways that aren't transactional. Try your best to not be bad at that - people are already trying that for you.
   
   

3. Treat your identity as a living draft. The men I respect most are the ones who keep revising who they are. There's no final form, no achievement unlock. Look around. There you are. And forever and ever. Remind yourself of that constantly.
   
   

4. Finally: choose solidarity over simping. Align with peers to create value, not just consume it. The loneliness epidemic isn't going to be solved by everyone individually striving for some mythic end destination with limitless money and attention from the people you wanna bang. It gets solved when men build genuine bonds based on mutual respect and shared creation - even if all you’re creating is a good time.

You can choose to listen to this or not. I know it may seem incomplete, or like I don’t know your whole situation.

But I do know that path to feeling like a man who is living a life worth living isn't found in some dude’s YouTube video or podcast clip. It's found in the hard, unglamorous work of authoring yourself, even knowing you’ll have to fuck up and feel vulnerable and embarssed because hey, at least they'll be your mistakes, made in service of becoming your own person, not someone else's idea of what a man should be.

I’m just begging you to consider this: please do not let these rich strange men choose who you are for you. That is the most cringe thing you can do. That's what Disney adults do.

They all want your money - forever.

So, in the face of that, having real dignity, being a real man, in my opinion, requires us to look at that entire economy of podcast mics and algorithms and saying: "No thanks. I got it."